Toxic Recruitment Tactics to Avoid: What Netflix’s You Can Teach Job Seekers

Netflix’s ‘You’ is full of red flags – obsession, manipulation, and charm masking chaos. Disturbingly, it’s not too different from what some candidates experience when they’re dealing with bad recruiters.

And just like Joe Goldberg’s behaviour isn’t fuelled by ‘love’, these kinds of recruitment tactics are not professional practices fuelled by genuine ‘candidate-care’.

Read below to help you spot the differences and navigate the differing Recruiters for your next job search!

1. Toxic Recruitment Tactics – Obsession Disguised as Interest

Joe Goldberg Example: Joe stalks his interests online and in real life – learning their interests, habits, fears – then uses it all to present himself as their perfect match.

‘Joe Goldberg’ Recruiter: They deep-dive your life, mirror your language, and tailor the pitch to sound like a dream. But at the core, it’s not about you – it’s about getting you to say yes. It’s strategy, not sincerity.

Translation: “You’re exactly what they’ve been looking for!” = “I’ve figured out what you want to hear.”

Good Recruiter: Gets curious about what you actually want and helps you weigh up if the role’s genuinely aligned – not just well-sold. No scripts, just genuine conversations. If someone is telling you exactly what you want to hear without asking you many questions about yourself and your ambitions – this is a red flag!

The Takeaway: Ask questions – just because it sounds perfect, doesn’t mean it is.

2. Toxic Recruitment Tactics – Love Bombing

Joe Goldberg Example: Joe floods his interests with compliments, gifts, declarations of love – way too fast, way too intense. It’s about control, not connection.

‘Joe Goldberg’ Recruiter: The hype. “The client loves your profile! The perks! The culture! Quick sign before it’s gone!” It’s not excitement – it’s a rush job usually based on speed to the finish line.

Translation: “They love you and need an answer asap!” = “We’re going to charm and apply pressure so that you ignore the red flags.”

Good Recruiter: Keeps things steady and honest. No pressure to rush, just solid advice and space for you to think clearly and make an educated decision.

The Takeaway: If it feels too fast – press pause. All urgency isn’t always urgent and a good next employer will want you to take the time to make the right decision – and so should your recruiter.

3. Toxic Recruitment Tactics – Control Over Transparency

Joe Goldberg Example: Joe never tells the full story. He hides his worst sides while selling the fantasy of being the perfect boyfriend.

‘Joe Goldberg’ Recruiter: You ask about turnover or workload and get vague buzzwords. “Fast-paced.” “Dynamic.” You’re sold a dream with missing pieces.

Translation: “There’s loads of opportunity and everyone’s thriving!” = “You’ll be doing three people’s jobs and finding out why everyone left after you start.”

Good Recruiter: They lay it all out. The good, the challenging, and what you’ll want to ask in interviews to get the full picture, not just the polished one.

The Takeaway: If something feels off – it probably is. Transparency is non-negotiable. Ask your recruiter about the nitty gritty details – do they match what the employer has told you in your interviews?

4. Toxic Recruitment Tactics – Possession Over Partnership

Joe Goldberg Example: Joe needs his interests to need him. Anyone who challenges that is eliminated – he doesn’t want love, he wants ownership.

‘Joe Goldberg’ Recruiter: You’re expected to say yes quickly, to not question the offer, and be grateful. Any hesitation? They go cold or push harder. It’s about compliance, not collaboration.

Translation: “This is perfect for you and we need an answer now” = “Don’t ask too many questions. Just agree.”

Good Recruiter: Welcomes your doubts and wants you to feel confident proceeding. They know this decision is not just about the now, but also about your future.

The Takeaway: Partnership means discussion, choice, and shared decision-making. If you can’t use your recruiter as a sounding board – you shouldn’t be using that recruiter.

5. Toxic Recruitment Tactics – Masking the Truth

Joe Goldberg Example: Joe hides his worst behaviours behind charm and wit. He pretends to be the dream guy… until he’s not.

‘Joe Goldberg’ Recruiter: Sells you the dream – team drinks, progression, balance – but skips the reality. You find out about the chaos after you’ve signed.

Translation: “Everyone there is so close!” = “It’s a pressure cooker and no one talks openly.”

Good Recruiter: Doesn’t sugar-coat. They’ll hype the positives, but also prep you for the challenges so that you have the full picture before proceeding. They’ll also help you read between the lines during interviews and negotiations to identify the reality of the role/firm.

The Takeaway: No job is perfect and every job has its trade offs, but honesty helps you decide if it’s worth it for you.

6. Toxic Recruitment Tactics – Disposal When Inconvenient

Joe Goldberg Example: Joe eliminates anyone who’s no longer useful to his narrative – Benji, Peach, even Beck. Disposable.

‘Joe Goldberg’ Recruiter: Ghosts you when you’re no longer useful. This can include having no feedback, no updates, no conversations after you have started the role to cover off the pros and cons. 

Translation: “Things have changed internally” = “We’ve moved on. Don’t call us.”

Good Recruiter: Stays in your corner – whether there’s an active role or not. They check in, give honest feedback, and keep it human and professional.

The Takeaway: If someone only shows up when there’s money to be made, they’re not your ally. Choose a recruiter who is happy to provide you with advice and checks in even when there isn’t anything for them to gain.

Final Thoughts

Netflix’s ‘You’ shows that ‘Joe Goldberg’ recruitment isn’t just annoying – it can often be manipulative and transactional. And if you’ve ever felt like you were being pushed, or ghosted –  you probably were.

But good recruitment? It’s built on trust, transparency, and mutual respect.

A good recruiter doesn’t force the yes – they help you figure out if it should be a yes at all.

Does that mean it’ll work out every time? No. Does it mean you should use a recruiter you know will do their best regardless?Yes.

Because recruitment isn’t about closing deals. It’s about opening doors – the right ones, for you.

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